My latest pictures, and...

So, I haven't written for awhile. That means many of you may have forgotten what I look like. I figured it was time to post a new pic. Rather than go to Sears, I chose to have my portrait taken by one of those 1984 Big-Brother-is-Watching-You traffic cameras that catches people running red lights. This lovely snapshot cost me $382 in traffic fines, plus enrollment in traffic school if I want to keep a point off my license. I think it was worth it. I mean, come on, I look like a bad-ass in this picture. That robot camera really captured my true essence.

I plan on using this red-light-cam picture as my headshot when I audition this weekend for an Upright Citizens Brigade improv house team. Wish me luck. No seriously, if you are reading this before Saturday, hit the comment link below and leave me some good luck. I doubt anyone's even reading this now as I've been pretty derelict in posting. But, I thought I'd put it out there.

Yeah, so I'm auditioning this weekend. I've been doing a lot of practice with improv, and feel I'm making some strides. Here's me playing at a show with a group called Engagement Party. It's made up of folks from Improv Olympic and Second City.

I also got recommended by The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in NYC to write for their LA theater's Sketch Cram show. That's a sketch show that's written and produced all in one day. We had this show this past Saturday night and it went really well. I really enjoy writing for these under-the-gun shows. A forced deadline combined with some very talented writers (I was really in awe of the other talents involved with the show) make for not only a fun performance, but a kick-ass day of laughs while putting it together. I wrote two skecthes. One about a passive-aggressive GPS for your car. Below is an excerpt from the other sketch. It's based on a real exchange between me and my new therapist I'm seeing for my OCD issues. (I had to get rid of my last therapist after she told me to watch The Secret.) Okay, here it is. Wish me luck. Seriously.

THERAPIST
You know Josh, we all have two inner voices. A critical one, and a positive one. I think your critical voice is doing most of the talking.

PATIENT
How can I balance them out?

THERAPIST
First, let's name them. What's your positive voice's name?

PATIENT
I feel like an idiot doing this.

THERAPIST
You hear that? That's your critical voice. What's the name of your positive voice?

PATIENT
I don't know....The Coach.

THERAPIST
Coach. Excellent. And your critical voice's name?

PATIENT
Uhhh...The Abyss.

THERAPIST
Great. Now, every time your hear The Abyss talking, I want you to..

PATIENT
Can we stop a second? I'm not happy with the name I gave my critical voice.

THERAPIST
The name doesn't matter. You need to...

PATIENT
I know, but come on, "The Abyss?" that's awfully pretentious. I write bullshit advertising for a living.
I have no right to be walking around with some deep existential name for my critical voice.

THERAPIST
Do you see how you're being crit...

PATIENT
Yes, I get the irony. It's almost as funny as you calling our 45-minute sessions an hour.

THERAPIST
Very passive aggressive.